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15 very important facts of life we learn from movies
1. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
2. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
3. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
5. If staying in a haunted house, women must investigate any strange noises in their most diaphanous underwear, which is just what they happened to be carrying with them at the time the car broke down.
6. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
7. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.
8. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say:
Enter Password Now.
9. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they come for a visit.
10. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
11. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
12. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
13. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone around you will automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear the music in your head.
14. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposites.
15. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
While visiting a friend in the hospital a young man noticed several pretty nurses, each one of them was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asked one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she said with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”
A young girl was very much interested in the progress of her mother’s pregnancy. Finally the day for her mother to go to the hospital. She looked at her mother with great puzzlement and said, ...“Mom, I don’t understand. If they’re going to deliver the baby, why do you have to go to the hospital?”
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar ... "Made in China".
Know Your State Motto:
- Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
- Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
- Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
- Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
- California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic
- Than Your Honda
- Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
- Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The
- Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
- Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our
- Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
- Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist
- Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
- (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
- Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ...
- Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
- Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
- Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
- Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
- Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
- Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
- We're Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
- Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
- Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
- Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
- Michigan: First Line Of Defense >From The Canadians
- Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
- Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
- Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
- Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Little Else
- Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
- Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
- New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
- New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
- New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets
- New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To an Attorney
- North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
- North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
- Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
- Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
- Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner...
- Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
- Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
- South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
- South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
- Tennessee: The Educashun State
- Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
- Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
- Vermont: Yep
- Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slack jaw Yokels Don't Mix?
- Washington: Help! Nerds And Slackers Overrun Us!
- Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
- West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
- Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
- Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared